Solo Focusing was my main entrance into Focusing and has been with me ever since. I learned Focusing by reading Gendlin’s articles and the little book “Focusing”. I remember it being quite difficult. Memories come to mind of sitting on my meditation cushion in a dimly lit student apartment struggling to find words for my inner experience. I would often slouch gradually the longer I sat, and halfway through I would often fall asleep! Looking back, I think I was pushing too hard, not knowing how to create the gentle listening atmosphere that makes something open. Despite these struggles the words I had read of Gendlin had stirred a deep place inside.

Solo Focusing has become a lot easier over the years and I find it to be an invaluable practice: I can Focus anywhere, anytime and the integration into daily life is more seamless. However, having trained as a Focusing-oriented therapist and having continuous Focusing partnerships has also taught me the value of Focusing with others: something deepens when being accompanied by another human being, and the unique interaction with that person awakens aspects of me that wouldn’t come alive in the same way with another person.

I haven’t quite found the same sense of interaction in my solo Focusing sessions, but having recently tested an interactive Focusing tool at www.londonfocusing.com/gendlins-focusing surprised me. It’s basically an online tool that guides you step by step through the six steps of Focusing. I found it helpful in keeping me to the process and preventing me from mind-wandering or falling asleep. Most of all, and much to my surprise, it felt highly interactional. Writing words in the “chatbox” allowed me to feel into what was still unclear and moved the practice forward. It reminds me of how Akira Ikema – an experienced figure in the Focusing community – once said that he would go much deeper on his own, when he said what he was feeling into a tape recorder.

To me that points to something interesting about interaction. That interaction isn’t first and foremost social. Obviously nothing beats the real human connection of a Focusing parntership or therapist. But when a tape recorder or a simple online tool (without AI responses) is enough to feel an interaction is on-going, it says something of the nature of being human. That we are constantly in interaction and living, breathing for that interaction to keep going – in new and more elaborate ways. It’s the interaction with our own living – our own further movement in life – that is essential. That interaction is always alive – whether on our own or in the company of others.

~ David Lauritsen